For the love of afternoon tea

A heartfelt ode to the ceremony that has stood the test of time.

Long before Downton Abbey and Sherlock made tea time all suave and fashionable, sipping on a cup of afternoon tea was quite the pop culture back in the day. From royalty to the average guy on the street, everyone indulged in the quaint clemency of a cup of tea – one that would help them forget the din of the day with each sip artfully taken in at the break of dusk.

Fast forward to the 21st century and we have tea baristas extending an offer of such clemency, in a much more urban fashion, of course.

It’s art nouveau, this trend – if you ask me – upholding a certain way of life that once was. But this so-called revival simply underscores the fact that the world is finally recognizing tea as a better choice of leisurely indulgence, far more pertinent than coffee. It’s not a cursory beverage like coffee. Tea’s got its own pace and breaks your day in the nicest way possible. Isn’t it just the indulgence to chase after?

So, as I write this post sipping on my 4 o’clock Jungpana Oolong, I’ll take you through the story and the conventions of afternoon tea, then and now. It’s an ode to the custom that has marked an important time in the lives of everyone who has ever loved and lived to love tea and everything it upholds.

The history

No one is quite sure how the ceremony of afternoon tea came about, but if anthropologists are to be believed, the ritual can be traced back to the early 1800s and credited to the Duchess of Bedford, a certain Ms. Anna. It is said that back in the day, the convention was to indulge in only two meals daily – one in the morning and the other in the evening.

However, the Duchess found her gastronomical clock twitching somewhere in between this resolute convention. Because of the long stretch of time between lunch and the evening meal, she suffered from afternoon hunger spells. Her solution? A tray of tea, some bread, butter and cake. And once the trend caught wind, everyone got hooked on the fad overnight.

But it wasn’t until the 1920s that the trend took on a more outlandish garb. Silver teaware, delicious hors d’oeuvres, linens and some jazz – a whole fanfare developed around afternoon tea time. It became less about tea and more about the pageantry.

Not that anyone was complaining.

The etiquette

Now, if one is following strict customs here, there are three essentials to hosting a classic 4 o’clock afternoon tea session: the right tea, the right food and the right ambient settings.

The right tea: A Classic English Breakfast Tea, Earl Grey or any black tea of your liking. Be sure to only use loose-leaf tea. It’s the only authentic way to go about this.

The right food: The essentials here include warm scones with a pot of clotted cream and jam, cucumber and egg sandwiches, and small cakes (not cupcakes, because that’s just blasphemy).

The right table setting: Silverware is optional, but that’s no excuse for choosing a poor porcelain cup with Hello Kitty images imprinted all over it. Choose good-quality china (teacup and saucer) and I promise you the experience is far, far more enjoyable than you would hope to expect at the bottom of a microwave-proof cup.

Using linen napkins, table linen, china platters and a small flower arrangement (of roses) for the table is sure to get the anticipation of the ceremony rising. And if the table is set out on the porch or the lawn, well, then that’s just as good as it can get.

The ceremony

I think afternoon tea is the last good relic of an Edwardian England. It’s so detailed and elaborate, but at the heart of it, the ceremony is about the art of making and sharing a cup of tea. And the mainstay of the whole ritual is that tea be served with kindness and grace.

I remember reading about afternoon tea in the novels of Emily Brontë and Jane Austen. And across their literary works, I have always noticed tea playing the role of a subtle force that catalyzes the rate of conversation and inversely impacts the rate of passage of time.

But talking about the ceremony itself, preparing tea is the first important bit. Use of elegant infusers and leaf strainers is a classy choice. Taking a bite as you sip on tea is highly frowned upon, and tapping the spoon along the rim of your cup is just poor etiquette. But don’t worry; it isn’t quite set in stone, these rules.

Indulging in a sip over a conversation and hors d’oeuvres is part two. And just so you know, speaking with a mouthful is considered uncouth. The finale closes in not with the last little drop of tea ending on your palate, but when the cumulative experience of tea, cakes and conversations expires like a breath of air slowly let out.

Afternoon tea: present day

As the years went by, the ritual of afternoon tea retired to a restricted existence. It graces, now, the hallways of swanky hotels, a few contemporary restaurants and the homes of a few tea purists. But thankfully it’s not all that grim. For there remain those who continue to believe in the art of tea and cherish the idea of tea rituals. To them, the domesticity of life is best felt in the clink of teacups and a moment of shared laughter at afternoon tea.

In fact, an evolution of the age-old ceremony is now taking place. It’s no longer a formal affair, and there are many different kinds of afternoon tea ceremonies out there, including the at-home tea and the more popular teahouse tea. These modern institutions are the ones upholding the venerable tea culture in their own unique, creative ways.

Step into a teahouse in Manhattan, NY, and you would know what I am talking about here. These aren’t conventional setups, these cafes. Most are groomed with innovative themes, and have a remarkably casual atmosphere and airy communal space arrangements. And perhaps these are the only places where you can expect to be served artisan teas from 20 different nationalities, offered with 2% soy milk, gluten-free poutines and farm-fresh honey.

An avant-garde setup, no doubt, but these institutions are still very much vested in the idea of spreading the joys of good tea. I tip my hat to them!

One unpretentious afternoon tea

Conventional thought holds afternoon tea as a class fare; sometimes pretentious too. But it needn’t be all about the fanfare always.

I remember looking at my own mother preparing her 4 o’clock tea with so much zeal; she looked forward to it every day. A small aluminum kettle would be put on, and a teaspoonful of good strong tea would be thrown into the boiling water. I remember her taking a whiff just as she put the leaves into the kettle – something about the aroma always managed to put a smile on her face. Five minutes later, she’d take her cup of freshly brewed tea, some crackers on the side, and sit down for her 15 minutes of solitude.

I have seen her do this day in and day out. She’d sip on the tea slowly and reverently, as if taking on the din of the world with every slurpy sip, and then carefully heave out a breath as if the solutions of life had just manifested. It’s a ritual – her ritual – and one she enjoys much to the glory of tea.

Just like her, there remain devout believers in the art and religion of afternoon tea – some sticklers and others more humble. For some, it exists in the ballyhoo laid out for them in Michelin-star restaurants, while for others the pleasure exists even in a quaint little personal ceremony at home. Either way, it’s perfect.

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Originally published on Still Steeping, the Teabox blog, on January 6, 2015. Lightly edited for clarity in October 2026. Set your own afternoon tea table with Classic Earl Grey Citrus Black or English Breakfast Black.